Playbook for Parents

It doesn't have to be in writing, but you should have one.
A set of guidelines and rules between you and your partner when it comes to raising your son or daughter.
And it's something that should be decided upon in advance, not learn-as-you go.
Children need rules.  They need a defined set of standards at a very young age to properly function socially, and once learned and applied, they won't seem like rules. 
It appalls me when I realize that some parents put off teaching manners to their offspring until almost compulsory school age.  Then they're shocked when they run into disciplinary problems because their child, having had free rein of their young lives for so long, are suddenly beset with a household code of ethics.  Please and thank you?  Wipe my feet at the door?  Wash my hands after going to the bathroom?  Don't burp at the table or anywhere else?  How dare you infringe on my freedom just because you're bigger than me!
When my wife and I first discussed family, I was upfront and honest that I was going to be a strict parent.  Disobedience towards us would not be tolerated for any reason, nor would disrespect towards another adult that they or we know ('stranger danger' is for another day).  And there would be consequences for infractions.  Time-outs would be a start, and corporal punishment when all other forms of discipline had failed.
More importantly, we were to have each other's back.  As in, what one of us initiated, the other was to follow through with and fully support.  Thus eliminating chances of 'pitting' one parent against the other.
Allowing your child to be mean or disrespectful to you or another person is not letting them 'express' themselves.  Rules, when properly applied and executed, aren't meant to kill confidence or break spirit.  Your responsibility is to raise a child into a mature adult that is a responsible and productive member of society.
If you believe a lack of rules is an essential means of building confidence, think about this for a moment...your sawed-off first-grade runt of a son running off at the mouth at a passive second-grader with a little more meat on his bones...whom your kid has provoked into the right amount of confidence needed to rapidly pummel your little rug-rat into the ground with his pinkie finger.
Now all that confidence didn't keep your kid from getting a black eye, fat lip, or a bloody nose, did it?
Yeah, I'll wait for you to get him the tissues and ice pack.
Write the book.  Then memorize it.  And apply it.

NEXT WEEK:  Whose Side Are You On?