Respect Yourself

My mind races back to the days when I played records on the radio.
There was one little ditty I especially remember...it was from a family gospel group that hit the charts with a pop crossover number in 1971.
The lyrics went something like this:
"If you disrespect everybody that you run into...how the world do you think anybody's supposed to respect you?"
Name that tune.
Staple Singers...Respect Yourself.  Vocalist Mavis Staples went on to record the song played in the opening credits of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
Enough trivia.
But the song does make you think.
How many of you truly respect your children?
Think about that for a moment.
That doesn't mean cater to your child's every whim nor does it imply you should forfeit your rights as a parent to discipline your child properly.
It does however, mean that how you treat another adult shouldn't be much different than how you treat your child.
Hypothetical:  You tell, not ask, your child to bring something to you, often in another room of the house.  You might even yell for them to do it at the top of your lungs from across the house. Then you snatch it out of their hands because they didn't bring it fast enough to you.  And you don't even so much as say 'thank you'. 
Now you're at work.  Would you treat a co-worker in this manner? 
Of course not.  Because you know the repercussions.
You might find yourself out of a job, and perhaps even with a re-arranged face, depending on whom the co-worker was.
Why is it that we can we extend the most common courtesy towards a peer or colleague but not have the decency to do the same thing to our children?
And if that's not enough, we then chastise them in the same breath for their poor manners?  Or get upset because they become literally unmanageable by the time they're teenagers?
The Golden Rule...do unto others as you would have done to you.  You learned that in school yourself a long time ago.
If you have to demand respect, you don't deserve it.  If you command respect, you've earned it.
Respect is always earned, and never given.  And what you may interpret as respect by acting towards your child in this careless manner is just the opposite. 
You may get capitulation or submission, but only for so long.  Resentment and other negative feelings are harbored in the meantime.
And you are setting yourself up for failure.
I've been in contact with more and more people who have not had a relationship with their own parents for years.
We're not just talking about a couple 'silent years'.
Silent decades. 
As a Christian, I believe in the commandment "Honor Your Father and Your Mother", as expressed in the Old Testament.
Unfortunately, there's nothing in there about "Honor Thy Child".  And it's pretty hard to honor a parent that shows little to no respect for their offspring.
To such a parent, I say this:
If you feel your child is beneath you, remember this...the only thing beneath you is grass.
And one day, you will be beneath it...long before your kid.


NEXT WEEK:  Planning for YOUR future