E-based Education...Part II

You've heard the cons of cyber-based education in last week's column.
Now for the pros.
In urban centers of population, school safety is of a greater concern to parents.  Those who want to know where their kid is are left no guesswork between what happens between their front door and the classroom door.
Kids in urban areas who do enroll in cyber schools will still get some form of social interaction, and it will be for the most part, positive.
In urban areas, neighborhoods are often tight-knight, with neighbors more likely to 'look out' for one another, as opposed to suburbanites.  Communities tend to be stronger, especially in churches.
Urban schools typically have larger class sizes, with struggling students often unable to get additional help they need from a teacher in order to keep up with their classmates.
There's also more in-class distractions, like back in your own days at school, where that annoying kid behind you who keeps bothering you with statements like 'what did he/she say' while you're trying to concentrate on the lesson yourself.
Cyber schools can be beneficial, provided that you take a proactive role as a partner in your child's education.
Here's just a few examples:
If you work outside the home, and no full-time caregiver is present during cyber-class times, then this isn't going to work out.  No matter what age, your child must be supervised and ensured that they're spending class time on study and study alone.  This form of education must be conducted in an environment that is conducive to study.
Keep a routine that's typical as if your child was getting ready to board a bus for public or private school.  This includes bathing, breakfast, and dressing.  Yes, that means being fully dressed as if they were entering the classroom, and no snacks, food or drink at their class area.  Toys too.
Lunchtime must be structured as if at school, with a designated start and end time, with recess included in that.
Now here come the questions.
The cyber school itself must be studied carefully.  Who's giving the lessons?  Are they state-certified teachers that go through continuing education as they would if they were in a typical brick-and-mortar school?  Or are they little more than glorified tutors?
Is the curriculum accepted by the state's Board of Education?  How are they rated?
The diploma that your child will ultimately receive...how will it stand the test of time?
Will it bear the name of the cyber-school, or the name of the district that your family resides in?  The latter ultimately carries more weight, especially when planning for post-secondary education at a typical four-year college or university.
How will a higher education institution obtain transcripts?  Through the district or the cyber school?  If it's the latter, what will happen to those transcripts if that institution folds?
This is especially important if your child wishes to pursue graduate work later in life, or has their undergrad studies interrupted for whatever reason.
Whatever route you choose for your child's education, it's a decision never to be taken lightly, with all avenues painstakingly considered to determine what ultimately will be in your son or daughter's best interests.


NEXT WEEK:   The importance of extra-curricular activity

E-based Education...Part I

Considering a cyber school?
Why or why not?
What's wrong with public schools?  Or private schools?
Home-based education is nothing new...the religious right first made it popular in the 80s and 90s, wanting to home-school their children, and it was a request that districts in many cases, could not deny, as religious freedom is protected by our beloved U.S. Constitution.
Prior to that, homebound instruction was limited to students either physically or mentally challenged to the point where they could not function in a typical classroom environment.
Today, that's given way to cyber-education.  And I hear a variety of reasons behind it.
More parents are advocating cyber schools and other forms of online education.  While intentions may be good, here's a few reasons why it isn't.
"Book smarts" aren't enough to function in today's workplace.  That's right, what we call "street smarts" are just as important, if not more.
And you only learn those in a social setting.  It's the stuff that can't be taught from a textbook nor graded fairly if it was.
You may recall a scene in the original "The Karate Kid", where Ralph Macchio is witnessed by Randee Heller throwing his BMX bike in a dumpster, with his bullied character, Daniel LaRusso, stating that he doesn't understand 'the rules'.  Randee's character Lucille takes him home and says 'we'll figure out the rules'.
The Rules.
That social hierarchy that separates the classes of kids, and makes the difference between getting to class on time or having your jockey shorts run up the flagpole against your will.
Yes, there are standards against bullying.  Kids are subject to harassment either live or in person.  Some are the bullies while others are bullied.
Either way, locking your kid up in the house because you think you're 'protecting' them from the outside world, isn't doing them any favors.
Unless you want them jobless, playing video games and living in your basement well into their thirties.
Your child needs to function in a typical social setting...that means a setting that you, as a parent, have no control over.  That includes adverse conditions that require quick thinking and actions.  Things that one day might save your child's life.
That means your child mixing with different socio-economic groups.  They need to see things from a perspective other than their own, and be willing to embrace the thoughts and ideas of others. 
In short, realizing that life isn't always fair.  We don't always get our own way or what we want when we want it.
Comedian Redd Foxx best described his relationship with his wife in this manner:
She says..."I want what I want when I want it!"
He says..."You're gonna get what I got when I got it."
This carries over into adulthood and the business world.
Lest anyone accuse me of bias, I'm going to tackle the other side of this issue next week.
You've already heard the cons.  We'll address the pros a week from today.


NEXT WEEK:  The Pros of Cyber Education

Here Come Da Judge

A family law judge in McAllen, Texas recently came under fire for the captured-on-video beating of his then sixteen-year-old daughter.
For those of you who haven't seen the video, Judge William Adams wears out a belt on his daughter Hillary, reportedly because the teenager was downloading pirated materials through the now-shuttered file-sharing service once known as Kazaa.
He enters her bedroom with a belt in hand, ordering her to get on her stomach, and when she doesn't, he proceeds to strike her on the legs and other places on her body with said belt.  "The big one" as he tells his wife when she goes to retrieve it.
As a journalist, I know there are certain standards with regards to objectivity, because I have researched this case thoroughly.  I know that Hillary was in many ways, a spoiled little brat who didn't seem to get the gravity of her actions, and said little else other than "stop" to her father as he was beating her.  She also waited until Daddy took away her Mercedes and threatened to cut off financial support in reaction to her dropping out of school, to release the now-seven-year-old video footage.
But did she deserve THIS?
Why didn't Judge Adams and wife Hallie simply take away the computer?  Didn't work?  Why didn't they take everything out of her room other than clothes and the bed?  Still nothing?  Why didn't they take her bedroom door off the hinges?
What makes this case even more appalling is that Judge Adams is a family court judge...presiding over cases like juvenile justice, adoption, crimes by parents against children.  Did he not see injustice by his own hand?
As an educated man, I would have expected Judge Adams to have taken a more psychological approach in dealing with his daughter before resorting to such brutality.
Because that's exactly what it is.  Was all this really necessary?
Hillary Adams was clearly no physical match for her father.  And from what I saw, not much for her mother, either.  Yet she was savagely beaten like a rented mule.
If you're a firm believer in corporal punishment, like I am, here's where the line is drawn.  This is important for everyone to know.
Reasonable force. 
Translation:  use only the force your own arm can provide.
No "weapons" of any kind.  This includes (but not limited to) belts, broom handles, tennis rackets, boards, bats, chains, rolling pins, purses or...closed fists.
Keep all physical punishment contained to the buttocks.
But most importantly is this:
Corporal punishment should only be used as an absolute final resort, and NEVER as a first line of defense.
And never, ever, when you're angry.
As for the judge being judged, don't look for that to happen, as the clock ran out long ago for charges to be brought against him...even at the federal level.
But the damage has been done.  Judge Adams is up for re-election in three years, and any bid to return to the bench would result in this being dredged up by a potential opponent.
He's already been tried in the court of public opinion...and found guilty.
I hope that some good can come out of this.  That parents who go too far in disciplining their children will not only suffer, but so will their families. 
And I hope the judge will someday learn this and rebuild his fractured family.
And that Hillary Adams can move on with her life and become a productive member of society, despite a rather tormented past.


NEXT WEEK:  Cyber-schools...a good idea?

Calling a Time-out

The first reference to a 'time out' when it came to parenting, wasn't a form of discipline, contrary to popular belief.
It was a form of restraint.
For parents.
The Ad Council conceived a public service campaign called "Take Time Out...Don't Take it Out on Your Kid" at the beginning of the 1990s. 
Why do we call our kids on the carpet and put them in 'time out'?
To make them think about what they did wrong.
How many of us take time out to think about what we're doing wrong as parents?
Or how we can be better?
Words and especially how we deliver them, can have the same impact as a physical blow. 
The physical blows will eventually heal.  The emotional ones run deeper and take a longer amount of time.  If ever.
How many times have you lost patience with your son or daughter?  While you may not have physically unloaded on them, but you shouted a barrage of four-letter words in their way?
Either way, you've lost control.
When you're on the verge of losing it, walk away.
Get a hold of yourself.
Count to ten if you have to.
Then return to the situation.
Put the child in time out.
In case you're wondering how long, go by age.  Two years old, two minutes.  Five years old, five minutes.
Then return to them.
Ask them if they know why they were put in time out.
If they say yes, ask them to tell you.
And remember your tone when speaking.
Explain future consequences and why it's important for them to do what they're told.
And always end the conversation with a hug and a kiss.
Because it's still important to let your child know that they're not bad.
They're still good...all they did was a bad thing.
Yes, there is a difference.


NEXT WEEK:  Judge to be Judged