For Moms...It's Not Your Fault

This one's for the moms.
Whether it's by choice or a necessary medical procedure, sometimes a hysterectomy is in the works.
Sometimes, surprises are discovered during this procedure.  And they're sometimes rather unpleasant...a few of them have happened more than I have realized.
Mom gets the procedure done.  Then one day she decides to peruse her medical records.  One entry shows something absolutely devastating.
She learns she was pregnant when she had the hysterectomy.
If you're raised Catholic or are a devout convert, this can be even more psychologically bothersome...because the church still takes the same stand on abortion that it has for eons.
You and you alone know the emotions you're experiencing.  It's not something we men can ever truly relate to.
Anger, self-hatred, self-pity, just to name a few.  The questions you ask yourself can even be maddening.
"How could I not know I was pregnant?"
"Why didn't the doctor stop?"
"Am I a murderer?"
Understand these?  Maybe asked a few rhetorically?
You need to stop.
Now.
This will eat away at your psyche if you don't deal with it.
You need to sit down with your spouse or a trusted loved one to get your feelings out in the open.  Cry, yell, scream, hit or break something, whatever.
Then allow yourself time to mourn.
The same way you would for a loved one that has passed on.
More specifically, your own child.
Revere the memory of this child as if they were carried full term, born, and had a happy life.
Think of what kind of memories you would have built with this child.
No...I'm not kidding.
If you didn't know the sex of the fetus, pick one you like best.  Name it if you have to.
First steps, first words, running into your arms.  First day of school.
Now if you have a strong spiritual base, this should bring you peace of mind.
And it will likely necessitate a box of facial tissues.  But that's OK!
Now that you've pictured this child as a part of your life, now picture this same unborn child entering an eden of peace and happiness forever.  And two of the strongest yet gentlest arms you could ever imagine, reaching out and your child running into them.
Arms that will protect your little one forever until you meet him or her one day in Heaven.
Find a serene place you can go to reflect.  As if you buried the little one there or scattered their ashes.  Externalize your emotions and let it all out.  You'll find it to be a spiritually cleansing experience.
I close by saying that I hope you will read this and one day find peace. 

NEXT WEEK:   Shoppers for Choppers