'Grand' Parenting

"That's NOT the same woman I grew up with!"
Bill Cosby railed about it in his "Himself" 1982 concert film at the Hamilton Center for the Performing Arts in Hamilton, Ontario.  "You're looking at an old person...who's trying to get into Heaven now!"
It's nothing you haven't already been exposed to.  If you're a parent, you know what I'm talking about.  If you're a grandparent, this is especially for you.
Parents of young children complain about their own parents.  The grandparents complain right back.
"You're not strict enough with them!"
"You're too strict...let them be kids!"
"If I were the parent, things would be done differently.  I think all children should be raised by the grandparents."
As one of the first "Generation X-ers", I'm the child of "Baby Boom" parents, born in 1945 and 1949. 
And my grandparents were of what would eventually become known as the "Greatest Generation".
There were consistencies in grandparents in just about every generation. 
Until the baby-boomers started coming of retirement age.
Just about every generation of grandparents treated their grandchildren the same.  There was always love at Grandma and Grandpa's house.  Plus freshly-baked cookies in a jar within easy reach of little ones.
Or if Grandma was still in the workforce, the right store-bought cookie will do.  And my maternal grandmother, who worked for Detroit Public Schools, always kept a generous supply of Kiebler's Deluxe Grahams on hand.
Hey, a cookie's a cookie, right?
And there was one unwritten rule that every set of grandparents abided by...'you can spoil, but you can never undermine the authority of your children or children-in-law'.
Ever.
Especially when the occasionally unruly child steps out of line in the presence of their grandparents.  Regardless of what you as a grandparent may think or feel, it is important that you respect the boundaries of your role.
And the boundaries are as follows...this is NOT your child.  You are NOT ultimately responsible for what this child will grow up to be.  Rules, chores, punishments and other unpleasant parts of childhood are all the results of centuries-old standards and practices necessary for survival in the adult world. 
It's all there for a reason.
With the baby-boomers now coming of retirement age and 'grandparenthood', there is becoming a divide between them and their children, borne out of different attitudes towards the natural progression of aging, and that many more grandparents are becoming more involved in the child-rearing process.
Grandparents are often the 'go-to' when it comes to needing someone to babysit, or being the 'latchkey' before and after school in families where both parents work outside the home.
Relationships between parents and grandparents should always be one of mutual support, and never of competition. 
And always a united front in the presence of the child.  Confusion and manipulation will result if there's anything less.

NEXT WEEK:  Crisis in the Womb