Father Knows Best Knowing Nothing

"Think about your father!  He doesn't know where anything is...you ask him to do something, he messes it up!"
That excerpt is from the 1982 concert film "Bill Cosby: Himself", recorded in 1983 at Hamilton Place Theatre in Hamilton, Ontario.  Just about everyone in the world has seen it.
"That's a genius at work!  Because he doesn't want to do it!  And he knows that someone will be coming soon to stop him from doing it!"
I often wonder about that.
Particularly that Cos might be right on the money for this one.
If you want to undo everything you've tried to accomplish as a parent, ask your own parents to babysit your children for you one evening.
You can write them a detailed list ten pages long, laminated and placed in a three-ring binder for future use, and you'll find said list under a pile of books in front of an empty bookshelf in the family room when you come home afterwards.
And by the time you have the house cleaned up, (this may involve a HAZMAT team) it'll be time to ask them for their services again.
And you ask yourself "why didn't I hire a babysitter?"
Again and again and again.
Because you believe that you're doing your parents a favor...by giving them another opportunity to spend time with their grandchild, rather than the usual Sunday visits.
Read between the lines.
Your parents know your visitation patterns.  How long visits are, and especially how your child behaves when given the right amount of sweets.
Despite recent studies that say sugar doesn't cause hyperactivity, I find that study highly open to argument.
And so do your parents.
They didn't get as far as they did in life by being stupid.  You might not understand, and they will never tell you, but there is a method to their madness.
After all, they survived having you as their child.
And they let YOU live.
They pump your kid full of sugar and turn them loose on you when it's time to go home.  Because the kid will act up and YOU will have to be the bad guy.
Back to Cos for a moment.
"Oh my parents smile NOW!  When they come over to my house and see how much trouble I'm having!  Oh, they have a ball!  'Having a little trouble...huh, son?'"
And they're high-fiving each other the moment you back out of the driveway.
But a smart parent will know how to cope with this.  I call it the counter-attack.
Good weather for backyard play will enable a parent to take their child outside and have them burn off all that excess energy.  If you don't have ample backyard space, a local park will do just fine.
The resultant fatigue and eventual sugar crash, after a good dinner and bath, will put your child in a Stage 3 coma until the following morning.
Possibly you too, but it'll be the best sleep you ever had. 
And every parent needs all he or she can get.


NEXT WEEK:  Driving You Crazy