We all do it.
We spell out words we don't want our young children to understand.
From C-A-N-D-Y to B-A-T-H.
Hence the title you see above.
Country queen Tammy Wynette even had a chart-topper of the title of this week's column back in 1968...at a time when divorce still had yet to be fashionable.
As a child of divorce, I know the pain of it all.
Divorce is never easy. It shouldn't be perceived as such.
Yet marriages are cast aside in such a careless manner, and with no regard to the offspring created by said union.
For such a sacred union, marriage isn't easy. Yet state laws undermine it by making no-fault divorce sound as easy as a simple phone call. Then once the papers are served, it's all but that.
"The number one reason why couples don't stay together is selfishness."
That's from the pastor who performed our marriage ceremony on September 16, 2006.
Yes, I remember my anniversary.
I have short-term memory issues. Yet my wife has a near-eidetic memory. Despite my challenges to remember to take out the garbage on Monday nights, I do remember that.
And her birthday. November 25th.
Why do I remember these things?
Because it's important to her. And me.
Her happiness is my happiness.
"A happy wife is a happy life." Words of wisdom from the guy who remodeled my bathroom.
Even after six years of marriage and three years of parenthood.
Can I do better as a parent?
Absolutely. And as a husband.
And I've heard it all.
"It won't affect the kids...we're going to share custody...unlimited visitation rights, etc."
You're not fooling anyone but yourself.
It DOES affect the kids.
The little things you take for granted, a little one takes to heart.
While I was single and child-free, living in Detroit while in my mid-20s, I spotted a series of billboards dotting the interstates throughout the Metro Detroit area.
The billboards are designed to represent a small child's crayon-and-paper artwork, with a little girl's crying face, and next to it, this caption:
"I need BOTH parents".
Though marriage and family were the furthest things from my mind at that point in my life, I couldn't help but feel tears well up in my eyes and a lump form in my throat as I sped down I-696 at 80 miles an hour, trying to forget that image.
I didn't. Because I couldn't.
My own personal experience and the numerous billboards throughout the area saw to that.
I made a promise to myself soon after that I was not going to marry just to get married, because of societal or familial pressure. Even if it meant never finding 'the one'.
I wasn't going to 'settle' for just anyone, and then have it all come undone a few years and a couple kids later.
And once I did, I wasn't going to take my wife for granted. I was going to do everything I knew how to keep my marriage and family strong.
Because that little crying face on that billboard could be my own little girl.
And it could be yours.
Be better today than you were yesterday. Then perpetuate it.
NEXT WEEK: Part II
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