Your Turn, Ladies

In last week's column, I mentioned my perspective of dating a single mom, including a Top Ten list.
Hey, the Top Ten list is NOT trademarked!  Besides, Letterman's not going to be around forever.
But here goes:

YOU KNOW YOU'RE DATING A 'DAD' WHEN:

10.  He offers to fix EVERYTHING...whether you ask him to or not.
9.    He gravitates towards 'cheap' dates.
8.    He either spends too little or too much...no middle of the road.
7.    He tries to be 'hip', but is greatly uncomfortable doing so.
6.    His wardrobe mostly consists of jeans, sweats, flannel shirts, and ball caps.
5.    He drives a 'buy here pay here' vehicle.
4.    You look around his home and realize how much of a 'woman's touch' it needs, and that you need C4 to make that happen.
3.    His idea of an 'outdoor date' usually involves fishing.
2.    You ask him about his kids and after a few minutes of that, he changes the subject.
1.    He may never say it, but his kids come first and he is not afraid to DIE for them.

It's too bad, but dads often get a bad rap.  Fortunately, the societal winds have shifted and lessened the liabilities upon the family patriarch.
Despite a growing number of couples living together out of wedlock, the divorce rate in this country still remains high.  Attorneys specializing in divorce are able nowadays able to extract child support from the mother (and in some cases even alimony), especially with more professional women in the workforce these days.
Men won't express their feelings or bare their souls easily for their spouses, never mind dates or girlfriends.  No matter how much society has progressed, we're still taught from a very early age that 'boys don't cry'.  And those among the strongest of us who have entrusted our vulnerability to another, may have had that trust betrayed by getting divorce papers served to him at work while the locks are being changed at the house.
Don't get me wrong.  In cases of abuse where the spouse or children are endangered, this is the only recourse, and I would support that.
But this happens even in cases where the wife is just tired of her husband, bored with the role of wife, and wants out.
Ladies, if you choose to date a dad, you will face having to deal with his baggage.  You may have issues of your own, but you have to tackle his as well.
Men too are vulnerable human beings.  The difference is we internalize.  Women may turn to their friends or extended family for support.  We're expected to suck it up and move on...no questions asked.
We can't let you in until you earn that trust from us.  And it may take a very long while.
If it takes a long while to earn yours, it takes longer to earn ours.
So the question you need to ask yourself is this:
Can you wait that long?


NEXT WEEK:  Children of Divorce